When Healing Feels Hard: What I've Learned

When the story keeps changing and nothing feels solid, it is really hard to know what to trust, even yourself. I have been there. For a long time, I wrestled with doubt, confusion, and pain that did not fit into simple answers. Some days I felt hopeful. Other days, completely lost. Healing was not a straight path. It was messy and slow.

Here are a few things that helped me, and maybe they will help you too:

Let yourself feel it all. There is no right or wrong way to feel about what happened. Confusion, anger, sadness, relief, even numbness - these are all normal. All of your feelings are valid. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I remember times when I felt overwhelmed by my emotions, but I had to sit with them to start healing. Give yourself permission to feel without judging yourself.

Keep asking questions, even the tough ones. It is okay to question what you were told. It is okay to wonder, “What really happened?” For me, asking these questions was not about blaming anyone. It was about finding my own truth piece by piece. It was not easy, but it was worth it.

Find people who will listen without judgment. Sometimes just being heard by someone who will not take sides can change everything. For me, that was a counselor and a few close friends. When talking was not possible, I wrote my thoughts down. It became a lifeline.

Set small boundaries to protect your peace. You do not have to explain yourself all the time. I learned that stepping back from the chaos was not giving up. It was taking care of myself. Saying no or just taking a break can be the strongest thing you do.

Remember kindness is not weakness. Being kind to yourself and others is one of the toughest and bravest things you can do. It does not mean forgetting the hurt or excusing bad things that happened. It means choosing to heal, even on the hardest days.

Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time. Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, one step back. That is normal. I had to remind myself every day that progress does not have to be perfect.

It is Better on the Other Side

I am not going to pretend it was easy. There were plenty of confusing, painful days. But I kept going because I believed something better was waiting. Healing did not erase the past or the hard parts. It meant facing them honestly and with courage.

For me, the other side is a place where peace feels real. Where kindness isn't just hope, but reality. Where your voice matters.

Healing happens in small steps and quiet moments. Every time you hold onto your truth instead of silence, you get closer to a clearer, stronger you.

I am still walking that path. But here is what I promise you: it is better on the other side. And you are worth every step.